Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Stumble It! - - Digg - Technorati - Blinklist - Furl - Reddit!

A Rant On Trusting Teens, Pt. 1

Thank heavens we live in a place where, unless they cause great harm to their kids, people get to parent any way they want to.

I sure wouldn't want anyone dictating to me how to raise my kids. At the same time, sometimes when I run into people who parent differently than I, I am appalled (as I'm sure they are with me).

I received this in my email box awhile back:


If your kids have cell phones then you no doubt have heard the term "text messaging". Maybe you're child is one that racks up hundreds, if not thousands of text messages per month.

And chances are, you have NO IDEA what they are texting, and what others are texting back to them.....right?

Well, there are some very serious reasons for you as a parent, to discover what your teens are texting, who they are texting, and how you can protect them from danger, and themselves.

Here's a great guide designed specifically for parents, that will give you all the information you need (including a comprehensive list of all the texting codes) to learn about what your child is doing online and on their cell phones, and how you can monitor and protect them.

It is in your child's best interest for you to KNOW about the world of text messaging and online social networking. It's not always a safe and innocent world for our kids today, out there, and it's up to us, as parents, to ensure we are on top of, and educated about the activities of our children. Especially ones that consumes so much of their time and attention!

Visit today and learn more, I promise, you'll be glad you did.

I have a number of issues with this email which links to an infomercial site to buy this guy's book on how to protect your child from pedophiles.

First off- I'm blown away by the assumption that it's our right to invade the privacy of someone who is almost an adult. Could it be that it's parenting styles like this that are the result of people staying "younger" for so long? Is this why kids remain living at home for so much longer, put off getting jobs, driving, creating families? Are we making our kids too dependent by our micromanaging their lives?

How do children become trustworthy, responsible people if they are constantly given the message that they aren't? Especially when they haven't done anything wrong?

Every person on this planet is entitled to their privacy. Every one. Even a baby if they so desire. I have no right to intrude on my child's private conversations unless they are in big time self destruct mode. Instead of making them "wrong" and not worthy of being trusted, I preferred making sure my kids understood I considered them responsible, intelligent human beings. They were. This is not to say we didn't have rocky or scary times. Heck...being alive and a parent at any time is scary. But we need to manage our fears and not require our kids to shoulder the burden of them.

Would you rather have someone who can take care of themselves, someone who has a head on their shoulder to find their way through challenges through an inner sense of self esteem? Or would you rather contribute to someone who needs you there to tell them at every turn what's right and what's wrong?

Yes. I understand it's a bigbadscary world out there. We want to protect our kids. But do you really think the road we're taking of monitoring their very move will do that? Paaaleeze...if your child wants to do something, they'll do it. The more boundaries you put around them, the tricksier they'll become to find their way around you. And thank heavens they want their independence. Do we really want a generation of sheep?

more to come...

image from here


Fusion said...

These emails are pandering on fear, and you're right Pamm, there reaches a point where micro managing your kids has to stop, and you let them learn their own way. Even if she shacks up with a lazyass BF that ruins her credit and doen't provide for her and their child... What? Did I say that? ;)

Pamm said...

Say what? Nope..didn't hear a thing :)